I hadn't heard back from my Rheume doctor about the follow up on my numbness to my right leg and hand and the past headaches. On Friday, while I was at work, out of nowhere I felt nauseous and I couldn't breath. No matter how hard I tried to tell my brain to tell my lungs to breath it wasn't working. Luckily I'm in the same office as my co-worker/good friend. I told her I don't feel good, I can't breath. I had to lie down on the office floor because I was ready to collapse. She called 911 and by the time the ambulance got there I had already started to catch my breath. They asked if I still wanted to go get checked. I said yes, because I had never felt what I just felt ever in my life. It really scared me.
All the EMT's kept saying to me was if I was under a lot of stress, that I probably just had an anxiety attack. The nausea, shortness of breath were common symptoms. I kept telling them no, no excessive stress, seriously!
The ER doctor same thing, after checking all my blood work, chest x-rays, and a CT scan all was okay. I kept telling them, I lost my breath I could not breath. I've been having this problem with shortness of breath even at night I have to breath with my mouth open. They never checked my lungs.
I went ahead and made a doctor appointment but my own primary doctor was out on vacation so I was fortunate to get another internal medicine doctor to check me the next day. I told him the symptoms I felt were in my lungs or my nervous system possibly from the headaches. I could not breath. It was not shortness of breath.
He had me breath in and out and with his tethescope said he could tell my lungs were tightning. He then had me breath through a tube/meter reading thing and he said I was not getting enough air in my lungs. Thank you for listening to me! He said I had an asthmatic attack and asked me if I had asthma. I told him no and I don't smoke either. He said even the allergens in the air can cause it or a viral infection (not bacterial) can also affect my lungs. No antibiotics would help this. He prescribed me a MethyIPREDNISolone 4mg pack to help loosen up my lungs and Proventil (Albuterol Sulfate Inhalation Pump Spray)which is an inhaler.
That kind of freaked me out. I feel bad for people that have asthma. I've seen asthma attacks from my own family and friends. I didn't have the wheezing symptom but now I know what I felt was that same feeling in not being able to breath. I asked the doctor if this was going to be a forever thing now for me. He said we would have to find out when I am done taking the meds. If my body can function without them later then it was just a passing thing. When I move to Texas and loose my health insurance for six months, I'd be afraid not to have an inhaler around if I need it.
This was three days ago and the inhaler has really helped me breath a whole lot better. I hadn't been able to take a deep breath in a long time. I forgot what that felt like. I thought it was just part of having Lupus. I also can sleep at night through my nose now.
I'll say this again, we know our bodies, and no matter what others might tell us, it's not all in our heads. It's not always anxiety or tension headaches. I knew it was not a heart attack or stroke I kept saying it was my lungs but all they kept checking was my bloodwork and my heart.
My kids were there for me which I was very thankful. My daughter spent the night with me when I asked her too because I was still pretty shaken up and my son would check up on me to make sure I was okay. I just told my friend at work, she would have needed to give me CPR soon if I didn't come out of it and she wasn't so sure she could have. I really want to be a Nurse so bad I hope I still can...and of course, I need to learn CPR.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Headaches for 6Days / March 30, 2011
I finally feel well enough to function. I had really bad headaches in my temple area and the back of my head the past 6 days. It got to the point I had to take Naproxen every 4 hours instead of 6. Tylenol didn't help either. I thought it was a sinus infection which I never had. My primary doctor said my headaches would be on my forehead when I saw him this last Friday. He told me to talk to my Lupus doctor about this new symptom.
The headaches stopped on Monday so by Tuesday a.m. I met with my new Rheaume doctor. I really like him. I had wanted him back when I was first diagnosed back in Sept 2009 but he was out ill himself and was not taking any new patients. So here we are in March of 2011 and he is my Doctor now. Being my 3rd Rheaume doctor, it is a big difference in the extra care I feel.
(I apologize, my vocabulary is just not the same, I can't think of the right words to use. I really think it is because of the bad headaches I just had)
I'll call my new Rheame Dr. J. He told me I had Sjogren's disease and asked me if I knew that. I told him in the past 1 1/2 years the other doctors never told me and I didn't know what that was. So now all the past symptoms made sense to me. The dry eyes being the worst. I was using Refresh eye drops to soothe my dry eyes. Dr. J told me there are other lubricants I can get that are longer lasting. Unfortunately I left the paper at his office so I'll have to call and get the information again. I wanted to share this to help others having this symptom.
Dr. J said I could have some type of nerve damage somewhere that is causing my right side numbness. I told him my right leg and right hand are numb and fall asleep on me causing me to move around a lot at night and during the day also. He thinks also by having the headaches he wants to consider giving me an MRI on my head to make sure there is nothing wrong with my brain. I read about symptoms with Lupus and the Central Nervous System and how it affects us but I don't know what it is yet.
Ever since my daughter was not diagnosed having Juvenile Diabetes by her Primary doctor I'm always concerned that when our body feels different, it's trying to tell us something is not right. Unless a test can tell a doctor what is wrong, I won't stop trying to find out.
All my life I have gone through these situations with doctors. I knew that when my daughter was late at birth I told my OB/GYN that my stomach felt hard and there was a lot of pressure on my ribs, like it was her head pushing up on it. He said babies move a lot the last few days. She was born breech. When I told my doctor I felt super hyper, rapid heartbeat, and lost excessive weight all of a sudden, I had Hyperthyroidism. When I went to my doctor few years later I told him I had gained weight, felt cold all the time, I had Hypothyroidism. When I got diagnosed with Lupus, I had nausea/dizziness for a week, shortness of breath climbing one flight of stairs (I used to bikeride for 7- 9 miles), and I felt sudden joint pain on my legs/arms keeping me up at night.
So my past experiences has already taught me and instilled in my brain, something is up. I have never had migraine headaches in my past and the sudden numbness on my right leg and right hand is something new. The sharp pains on my chest also is not the same as before by my heart. So I am concerned. Other new symptoms are ringing in my ears and loss of hearing. I also have cognitive dysfunction that is getting worse. I did a test that asked me to draw a clock and I had my son tell me different times to put on the clock. I got all 3 wrong. I couldn't remember how the minutes and hours worked on a clock. The next test was for my son to tell me 3 words that are nouns and 5 minutes later to ask me what they were. I could only remember the easy ones that I tied to something familiar but the others, I could not remember at all.
It's late now so I'm heading to bed. I wanted to catch up on what has been going on. I still plan to move to Texas in Mid-July and I want to still try to go to Nursing School.
Dr. J said he would call me tomorrow to let me know what he wants to do next.
The headaches stopped on Monday so by Tuesday a.m. I met with my new Rheaume doctor. I really like him. I had wanted him back when I was first diagnosed back in Sept 2009 but he was out ill himself and was not taking any new patients. So here we are in March of 2011 and he is my Doctor now. Being my 3rd Rheaume doctor, it is a big difference in the extra care I feel.
(I apologize, my vocabulary is just not the same, I can't think of the right words to use. I really think it is because of the bad headaches I just had)
I'll call my new Rheame Dr. J. He told me I had Sjogren's disease and asked me if I knew that. I told him in the past 1 1/2 years the other doctors never told me and I didn't know what that was. So now all the past symptoms made sense to me. The dry eyes being the worst. I was using Refresh eye drops to soothe my dry eyes. Dr. J told me there are other lubricants I can get that are longer lasting. Unfortunately I left the paper at his office so I'll have to call and get the information again. I wanted to share this to help others having this symptom.
Dr. J said I could have some type of nerve damage somewhere that is causing my right side numbness. I told him my right leg and right hand are numb and fall asleep on me causing me to move around a lot at night and during the day also. He thinks also by having the headaches he wants to consider giving me an MRI on my head to make sure there is nothing wrong with my brain. I read about symptoms with Lupus and the Central Nervous System and how it affects us but I don't know what it is yet.
Ever since my daughter was not diagnosed having Juvenile Diabetes by her Primary doctor I'm always concerned that when our body feels different, it's trying to tell us something is not right. Unless a test can tell a doctor what is wrong, I won't stop trying to find out.
All my life I have gone through these situations with doctors. I knew that when my daughter was late at birth I told my OB/GYN that my stomach felt hard and there was a lot of pressure on my ribs, like it was her head pushing up on it. He said babies move a lot the last few days. She was born breech. When I told my doctor I felt super hyper, rapid heartbeat, and lost excessive weight all of a sudden, I had Hyperthyroidism. When I went to my doctor few years later I told him I had gained weight, felt cold all the time, I had Hypothyroidism. When I got diagnosed with Lupus, I had nausea/dizziness for a week, shortness of breath climbing one flight of stairs (I used to bikeride for 7- 9 miles), and I felt sudden joint pain on my legs/arms keeping me up at night.
So my past experiences has already taught me and instilled in my brain, something is up. I have never had migraine headaches in my past and the sudden numbness on my right leg and right hand is something new. The sharp pains on my chest also is not the same as before by my heart. So I am concerned. Other new symptoms are ringing in my ears and loss of hearing. I also have cognitive dysfunction that is getting worse. I did a test that asked me to draw a clock and I had my son tell me different times to put on the clock. I got all 3 wrong. I couldn't remember how the minutes and hours worked on a clock. The next test was for my son to tell me 3 words that are nouns and 5 minutes later to ask me what they were. I could only remember the easy ones that I tied to something familiar but the others, I could not remember at all.
It's late now so I'm heading to bed. I wanted to catch up on what has been going on. I still plan to move to Texas in Mid-July and I want to still try to go to Nursing School.
Dr. J said he would call me tomorrow to let me know what he wants to do next.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
February 10, 2011- Just felt like blogging
No reason to be in here on my Lupus blog, just reading my past and it all doesn't sound so bad so far. I feel like I'm one of the few lucky ones that don't get Lupus flares or organs getting attacked. I feel bad for the others that do. But I will be honest, I keep feeling there will be this sudden brick that just falls on my head when I least expect it. Every different sign freaks me out. By signs, I mean, dark urine, numb hands when I sleep at night, pain in my chest next to my heart, sudden nausea, but these are not reasons to go to the doctors to figure out why.
Have you ever felt like a walking time bomb? I've always felt or thought I could feel premonitions of things that are going to happen. They have, but not to me personally. I'll sense an earthquake, and literally we had one that same morning in Northridge, CA. I sense a car accident in a motorcycle, next thing I hear on the news there was a pile up of motorcycles crashing near my house on the freeway. I don't like that feeling at all because I feel it on myself sometimes and those days are the scariest. Well enough about my bad vibe thoughts. No one believes me anyway when I tell them I sense these weird things.
So far my move is still on, but I'm having problems with truck or trailer rentals, etc to plan so my brothers can get all my stuff back home to Texas. I've still got 5 months to pack and plan so I'm trying not to get any stress out of this.
The good news is I did great on my college entry testing. For being out of school for over 25 years I was impressed with myself. Of course, I crammed in three weeks and bought a study book on how to skillfully pass a test, using pure logic works best. My student loan apps are all in so I am crossing my fingers that all goes as planned. I probably won't start Nursing school the Fall semester but by Spring of 2012 I should be in. I need to sharpen some more of my math skills. (Not everybody needs to learn what x + y equals!?)
I also found out today I need to find myself another Rheume doctor as my insurance just notified me they no longer approve my current one. So I am searching. But since I am moving to Texas, my health insurance advised me also they do not service that area so I am going to have to get into the new Healthcare Reform program which in turn, to qualify, I must be uninsured 6 months prior to be able to apply. I'm thinking I might bet on a prayer and stop paying my health insurance in March, stock up on my last meds to last me until September in hopes I can get my new doctor, insurance, and meds by then. Does that sound stressful to anyone and also crazy to consider?? I already know what it feels like just one day when I forget to take my Plaquenil at night. Next day I'm falling asleep at my desk just dead tired.
I don't know anymore, it's alot to put in my head right now so I try not to think about it so much, but, I do need a plan since only I take care of myself. Until next blog I'm done with venting to myself.
Have you ever felt like a walking time bomb? I've always felt or thought I could feel premonitions of things that are going to happen. They have, but not to me personally. I'll sense an earthquake, and literally we had one that same morning in Northridge, CA. I sense a car accident in a motorcycle, next thing I hear on the news there was a pile up of motorcycles crashing near my house on the freeway. I don't like that feeling at all because I feel it on myself sometimes and those days are the scariest. Well enough about my bad vibe thoughts. No one believes me anyway when I tell them I sense these weird things.
So far my move is still on, but I'm having problems with truck or trailer rentals, etc to plan so my brothers can get all my stuff back home to Texas. I've still got 5 months to pack and plan so I'm trying not to get any stress out of this.
The good news is I did great on my college entry testing. For being out of school for over 25 years I was impressed with myself. Of course, I crammed in three weeks and bought a study book on how to skillfully pass a test, using pure logic works best. My student loan apps are all in so I am crossing my fingers that all goes as planned. I probably won't start Nursing school the Fall semester but by Spring of 2012 I should be in. I need to sharpen some more of my math skills. (Not everybody needs to learn what x + y equals!?)
I also found out today I need to find myself another Rheume doctor as my insurance just notified me they no longer approve my current one. So I am searching. But since I am moving to Texas, my health insurance advised me also they do not service that area so I am going to have to get into the new Healthcare Reform program which in turn, to qualify, I must be uninsured 6 months prior to be able to apply. I'm thinking I might bet on a prayer and stop paying my health insurance in March, stock up on my last meds to last me until September in hopes I can get my new doctor, insurance, and meds by then. Does that sound stressful to anyone and also crazy to consider?? I already know what it feels like just one day when I forget to take my Plaquenil at night. Next day I'm falling asleep at my desk just dead tired.
I don't know anymore, it's alot to put in my head right now so I try not to think about it so much, but, I do need a plan since only I take care of myself. Until next blog I'm done with venting to myself.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Happy New Year 2011- January 2, 2011
I just started typing in the new year 2011 but of course did what I had expected I would do and inputted 2010 typ-o. I got the 1st three correct, the 4th slipped. Anyhow here we are and I made it. I've been about a year and 1/2 or so now with Lupus. I don't know if I should count from June 2009 when I got my first symptom of dizziness, nausea for a week but was diagnosed around September 2009 or so by the Rhueme, actually my own wonderful Doctor Wu, and internal medicine doctor 1st diagnosed me with Lupus just sent me to the Rheume to confirm- Thank you, Thank you Dr. Wu! He saved my body organs before it got way worst.
So far I have only been on the same Plaquenil 200 mg 2x's a day and Naproxen 500 mg as needed. Today I needed it but I'm still trying not to take it. Again, testing my body on how much discomfort I can stand. I don't want to be full of meds in my body that later it won't work when I really need it.
I've read about others taking Predisone and steroids for pain, I really don't want to get there. I take my meds like clockwork and I avoid any stress as much as I can and I stay away from the sun. I feel like a vampire, seriously, I think to myself, I rode my bike for hours on end by the beach and snorkeled in Hawaii like no big deal. I put sunscreen only on my back and nose where I normally get a sunburn. This past Christmas weekend I tried to go get me some after store specials, nice warm sweaters, but once I hit the freeway and the sun glared through my window, it felt so good, so warm, sparkling in my eyes after the big rains we just had. I gave myself just a view minutes of it to feel it before pulling the sunviser over. Once I got to the mall 15 minutes away, the malaise hit me, no way I told myself, head back home since I was there on my own.
That has been the part that kills me the most. I keep having this fear, I can't be anywhere alone if something happens. I had a really bad ear ache also during Christmas time. Doctor told me it was a viral ear infection so no bacteria, and no antibiotics for this kind of ear infection. Doctor said would take 3-6 weeks to get better on it's own. I still hear an echo in my right ear but what scared me was driving to get to the doctor appointment. I was literally alone, driving myself and having vertigo, dizziness, not a good feeling to have while driving. I honestly have never had that feeling of vertigo ever in my life and it is the worst uncontrollable feeling. I felt myself spinnning or swirling around me. Things were swerving to the left when I was trying to keep focused on keeping myself straight. Well I got some meds, Meclezine, to help. It is similar to Dramamine but this one made me feel way out of it. My body felt numb and everything was in slow motion. Also it made me super drowsy, so there was no way I could take the meds, drive, and work. So I stopped taking them and just put warm towels on my ears that I read about so far it seems to have helped.
Thanks to God, I haven't caught a cold or anything, not even a sneeze, knock on wood quick! I had taken my annual flu shot back in September and got through it without any repercussions so maybe my immune system is a little stronger than I thought. Let's keep it this way Lord!
As for my move to Texas, it is now set in stone in my mind. I plan to leave by July 15th, 2011 for sure. My son will head out with me I think, he really wanted to stay here in California and go to college here and honestly, I really wish I could provide this for him and stay another 4 to 5 years if I could. But the reality is that I can't. I haven't been the 100% I normally used to feel. My body keeps me from going further than I want to. My brain has headaches, my joints ache and I freeze like a popsicle in any 45 degree weather. I haven't gotten sick but just the few symptoms alone keeps me home from being me. I need help from my family back home even if just to check on me once in awhile or to call on to go pick up my meds.
Also, my 21 year daughter has moved out since before Thanksgiving. I guess I drove her out. Only because of the anxiety and stress the thought was causing me because she already told me she wasn't going to go with me back home to Texas. Other things had transpired with this so in the end, she moved out to live with her boyfriend so she can plan to stay here in California. I pushed her out of my house sooner so that she can be sure by the time I leave that is what she wants to do. Also, for myself, for my health, I have to be selfish that all the thoughts of her staying behind breaks my heart. Here I am crying again...(big sigh) I know our kids have to grow up eventually and leave, and her leaving so that she can stay and finish her college degree is very noble and a good reason. I just didn't think this day was so close and around the corner. It's like a ton of bricks just fell on me, fell on my heart. So for me to take a day after day knowing she was going to leave me by July, I pushed here away to leave now to go experience what she said she wants to. I was 17 1/2 when I ran away, but my situation was way different. But she is 21 and very responsible, and very independent, to a fault, she is just like me. (another big sigh)..all I can do is pray for her, that things, that life treats her well, that she is safe, that she is taken care of. I still hope that she will go back home with me but at least my heart is just floating on wishes and prayers.
I talk to my family back home and they are all excited to hear I am finally coming home after 18 years. I'm even having dreams about it like it was already here. It's like I left a part of me over there, and will eventually leave a part of me here in California with the good friends that have been here for me. I will come back to visit.
My plan now is that I want to go to nursing school. The thought came in my head when I met these patients in the hospital when I was there a while back. They were way worse off than me. One had diabetes with no legs and was fighting pneumonia, the other woman I'm not sure what she had but she had a dialysis done everyday I was there for her kidneys. Later I learned what that all meant. I visited with each one, we were all sharing the same room. I told myself I wanted to touch these people who were ailing, who were sad, who were in despair. In some way, I wanted to help them, I want to do so much more for others. I know having Lupus and becoming a nurse does not sound like a great mix, but I am not afraid to try. I want a purpose in my life that is not about me but about doing more for others. I have great compassion, I want to bring a smile, a small laugh, a gentle hand. Right now selling insurance to people just doesn't cut it for me. It paid the bills and helped me raise my kids. But that job is done and I need more in my life to be fulfilled and complete.
I hope that things just work out the way they should. I have some stiffness in my neck and back now is starting to hurt and my fingers are starting to get numb from all the computer typing I've done today. So I will leave it at this, I pray that my journey will take me to a better place, to a less stressful, happier, and fullfilled life.
So far I have only been on the same Plaquenil 200 mg 2x's a day and Naproxen 500 mg as needed. Today I needed it but I'm still trying not to take it. Again, testing my body on how much discomfort I can stand. I don't want to be full of meds in my body that later it won't work when I really need it.
I've read about others taking Predisone and steroids for pain, I really don't want to get there. I take my meds like clockwork and I avoid any stress as much as I can and I stay away from the sun. I feel like a vampire, seriously, I think to myself, I rode my bike for hours on end by the beach and snorkeled in Hawaii like no big deal. I put sunscreen only on my back and nose where I normally get a sunburn. This past Christmas weekend I tried to go get me some after store specials, nice warm sweaters, but once I hit the freeway and the sun glared through my window, it felt so good, so warm, sparkling in my eyes after the big rains we just had. I gave myself just a view minutes of it to feel it before pulling the sunviser over. Once I got to the mall 15 minutes away, the malaise hit me, no way I told myself, head back home since I was there on my own.
That has been the part that kills me the most. I keep having this fear, I can't be anywhere alone if something happens. I had a really bad ear ache also during Christmas time. Doctor told me it was a viral ear infection so no bacteria, and no antibiotics for this kind of ear infection. Doctor said would take 3-6 weeks to get better on it's own. I still hear an echo in my right ear but what scared me was driving to get to the doctor appointment. I was literally alone, driving myself and having vertigo, dizziness, not a good feeling to have while driving. I honestly have never had that feeling of vertigo ever in my life and it is the worst uncontrollable feeling. I felt myself spinnning or swirling around me. Things were swerving to the left when I was trying to keep focused on keeping myself straight. Well I got some meds, Meclezine, to help. It is similar to Dramamine but this one made me feel way out of it. My body felt numb and everything was in slow motion. Also it made me super drowsy, so there was no way I could take the meds, drive, and work. So I stopped taking them and just put warm towels on my ears that I read about so far it seems to have helped.
Thanks to God, I haven't caught a cold or anything, not even a sneeze, knock on wood quick! I had taken my annual flu shot back in September and got through it without any repercussions so maybe my immune system is a little stronger than I thought. Let's keep it this way Lord!
As for my move to Texas, it is now set in stone in my mind. I plan to leave by July 15th, 2011 for sure. My son will head out with me I think, he really wanted to stay here in California and go to college here and honestly, I really wish I could provide this for him and stay another 4 to 5 years if I could. But the reality is that I can't. I haven't been the 100% I normally used to feel. My body keeps me from going further than I want to. My brain has headaches, my joints ache and I freeze like a popsicle in any 45 degree weather. I haven't gotten sick but just the few symptoms alone keeps me home from being me. I need help from my family back home even if just to check on me once in awhile or to call on to go pick up my meds.
Also, my 21 year daughter has moved out since before Thanksgiving. I guess I drove her out. Only because of the anxiety and stress the thought was causing me because she already told me she wasn't going to go with me back home to Texas. Other things had transpired with this so in the end, she moved out to live with her boyfriend so she can plan to stay here in California. I pushed her out of my house sooner so that she can be sure by the time I leave that is what she wants to do. Also, for myself, for my health, I have to be selfish that all the thoughts of her staying behind breaks my heart. Here I am crying again...(big sigh) I know our kids have to grow up eventually and leave, and her leaving so that she can stay and finish her college degree is very noble and a good reason. I just didn't think this day was so close and around the corner. It's like a ton of bricks just fell on me, fell on my heart. So for me to take a day after day knowing she was going to leave me by July, I pushed here away to leave now to go experience what she said she wants to. I was 17 1/2 when I ran away, but my situation was way different. But she is 21 and very responsible, and very independent, to a fault, she is just like me. (another big sigh)..all I can do is pray for her, that things, that life treats her well, that she is safe, that she is taken care of. I still hope that she will go back home with me but at least my heart is just floating on wishes and prayers.
I talk to my family back home and they are all excited to hear I am finally coming home after 18 years. I'm even having dreams about it like it was already here. It's like I left a part of me over there, and will eventually leave a part of me here in California with the good friends that have been here for me. I will come back to visit.
My plan now is that I want to go to nursing school. The thought came in my head when I met these patients in the hospital when I was there a while back. They were way worse off than me. One had diabetes with no legs and was fighting pneumonia, the other woman I'm not sure what she had but she had a dialysis done everyday I was there for her kidneys. Later I learned what that all meant. I visited with each one, we were all sharing the same room. I told myself I wanted to touch these people who were ailing, who were sad, who were in despair. In some way, I wanted to help them, I want to do so much more for others. I know having Lupus and becoming a nurse does not sound like a great mix, but I am not afraid to try. I want a purpose in my life that is not about me but about doing more for others. I have great compassion, I want to bring a smile, a small laugh, a gentle hand. Right now selling insurance to people just doesn't cut it for me. It paid the bills and helped me raise my kids. But that job is done and I need more in my life to be fulfilled and complete.
I hope that things just work out the way they should. I have some stiffness in my neck and back now is starting to hurt and my fingers are starting to get numb from all the computer typing I've done today. So I will leave it at this, I pray that my journey will take me to a better place, to a less stressful, happier, and fullfilled life.
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